On Sunday February 23rd I cried. Not a big cry, not a scrunch up your face ugly cry. Just a few tears. I needed to keep it together. I was part of the worship set.
Out of Hiding by Steffany Gretzinger always gets me. The song so wonderfully displays God’s heart of love. And it can just wreck me. Should have put a little more space between this song and my part.
But I kept it to just a few tears and kept it together, because I had spoken word to do.
And my time comes, and I talk about right judgment and a year of Jubilee. And then I read some scripture. And that nearly wrecks me. I am shaking, I am trembling at its beauty. Romans 5:1-11 nestled between my writing. These are verses I have read so many times before but I’m barely keeping myself together. Its truth is so good.
And then back to the song….
You’re not far from home. You’re not far from Me (an adlib/spontaneous from Cynthia). It is so good. And again, you’re not far from home.
I wonder… on February 23rd, 2020 how far away home felt for Ahmaud Arbery, when he was chased by that truck, and by the armed man that would take his life.
If I could channel my Micah Bournes, “A Time Like This”:
It happened months ago,
Still shook this morning,
A Zimmerman wannabe
Trayvoned Ahmaud Arbery,
The rage and sadness,
I’m afraid his blackness,
Though beautiful now
Has him in the grave in casket.
Micah Bournes – “A Time Like This” ~adapted~
Madness.
He tried to fight for his life, and was fatally shot. I wonder if in between the time of being chased, and having that fatal violence touch him, and his soul leave his body… if he cried, or if he tried to keep it together. I wonder how far away home felt.
When we sang at church, on February 23rd, and I spoke words written on a New Year’s Eve, and read words written some 2000 years ago, it felt like heaven was so close. It felt like the veil to the temple was torn, and I was being welcomed into the Presence.
Heaven feels so far now.
The two men most directly involved in the tracking, stalking, chasing, boxing in, and killing of Ahmaud Arbery are the father-son see-the-black-man-(suspect-suspicion,he-fits-description),-grab-some-guns,-get-in-the-truck,-chase-him-down,-box-him-in,-force-confrontation,-confront-and-kill-him-claim-self-defense-as-historic-fact-because-the-dead-can’t-tell-their-tale team of McMichael and son, Gregory, 64, and Travis (who pulled the trigger) 34.
Kind of a sidebar: the suspicion and description were related to calls about burglaries in the area. Someone makes a call because Arbery is there, and fits the black and male description. Did the description include being armed? Not in any reporting I’ve seen, and I feel like they would have reported that. Nothing to do with a weapon. Why then do the McMichaels bring tools designed to kill? At least one of their weapons was loaded and primed to kill. We know that because of the killing with the weapon.
People are worth more than property. Right? Do _____ lives matter more than money or property? They do, right? There is nothing in a house under construction that is worth more than a _____ life… Right? (Derek Minor – “Price of Life”)
Thank God for the edits here: They have not been arrested. They are free, with access to every tool used to track down, corner, and kill someone. Because of their connections, and because the now dead man fit some description… the description being – black and there. The arrests took place more than two months after the killing. The McMichaels were free, with access to every tool used to run down, corner, and kill this man.
They were free those two plus months in part it seems, because of their connections, and because the now dead man fit the descriptions of black and male and there.
-Did the description include being armed with a weapon designed to kill? And that’s why the McMichaels brought their guns? If it did, why not wait for the police? Or put on some bulletproof vests if you suspected the suspect was armed? I’d think the elder McMichael might have at least one…–
The McMichaels were finally arrested on Thursday, May 7, 2020. I counted 74 days on the calendar.
74 days until Ahmaud’s family and loved ones could see some iota of a shadow of a possibility for mishpat, corrective justice. Lamentable.
The elder McMichael was former law enforcement. Those who would have been first to initiate justice in his immediate vicinity punted.
Image source Wikimedia Commons
Two prosecutors passed on making any calls for accountability. One of the self recused prosecutors even concluded that the killing was justified. But still self recused… There are conflicts of interest. He used to be one of them…. Or he is one of them? Or…. they are one with him?
Charges were finally brought up against them after the video of the chase and fatal confrontation was released to the public.
The arrests came only after major public outcry resulted in the Georgia Bureau of Investigation’s involvement.
But Ahmaud was killed on February 23rd. The day I was crying because of the goodness and nearness of God. And this video was available to authorities before it was released (leaked?) to the public on May 6… like… weeks and weeks before.
Corruption…
There are a few key ingredients: Power, those with it, and those without. Connections, those with them and those without. Depravity, to exploit the said above. A culture, where corruption has been cultivated helps it to rise and become more palatable for the participants.
If we are fortunate, in this world where heaven feels so far away at times, evidence may surface that unveils corruption. Someone of conscience or someone under pressure and duress may leak some piece of evidence previously hidden (as with Jason Van Dyke and Laquan McDonald).
I cried a little on February 23rd, because of the goodness of God, feeling close to Him, knowing that He paid it all, knowing that Jesus He saw it all, and still chose the Cross.
I wonder if Ahmaud Arbery cried in his last moments.
I wonder if Ahmaud’s killer, or his killer’s father, a former lawman, cried, when they slept in the comfort of their homes that night, while Ahmaud’s body grew cold.
Heaven seems really far away.
And closer perhaps…
Last week, at homegroup (a title that seems even more appropriate in a way, at this time of social distancing) we were led through the Tabernacle of Moses found in the book of Exodus.
We discussed the pieces of the furniture, their significance to the people then, and the significance they can have for the followers of Jesus today.
In the Holy Place, just outside of the Most Holy Place or Holy of Holies, there is the golden lampstand, an altar of incense, and a table made of wood covered in gold. There is bread on that table.
This would have been the second innermost compartment of the Tabernacle. Elizabeth’s notes pointed out that the lampstand would have been the only source of light in this Holy Place. The material used for the tent would have been thick, so that the chamber would be completely dark, except for the light of the lampstand.
Now the lampstand would have been a good size, so the amount of light it could give would be significant, but nothing compared to the intensity of the desert sun outside.
As my wife and I were praying, lamenting over the killing of Ahmaud Arbery, I had this realization: God invites us to meet with Him in a dark place, and to sit there, and commune.
I can just imagine, in a time of mourning and lament, the oil running lower, and lower, and lower… The Holy Place becoming darker, and darker, and darker.
I can imagine entering that Holy Place, the smell of incense filling my nostrils, and sitting at the table, or moving to the altar, in the becoming-mostly-dark, with my back to the lampstand. And God, not filling the space with light, not forcing keep-your-chin-up sunshine upon me, but sitting there, in the becoming-mostly-dark with me, as I weep. God grieving with those who grieve.
Jesus is the light of the world, but this world is still dark. He saw its darkness firsthand.
I do not understand it.
Jesus existed in a society, and with a people under power, not in power.
Jesus would have communed with and been ministered to by John the Baptist, and then heard that John had been arrested, and then that John had been killed by those in power while in their custody.
John’s crime? Speaking out against the immorality of a man in power. Jesus spoke so highly of John. Here was a prophet, yes, and “more than a prophet”.
I am growing tired of prophets today that do not weep, and do not cry out against injustice. Blind judges.
I recognize that there may be a place for Daniels or Josephs, seated next to, or in realms of power, but I am looking for, I am longing for more Ezekiels and Jeremiahs and John the Baptists! Our kingdom is not of this world. Why need we remind you of this again! And there are far too many, far too comfortable with so many people dying (as Rev William J. Barber, of Repairers of the Breach puts it).
At least it seems that way.
Perhaps I am missing something and if I am please forgive me, but either I don’t see it, or they don’t see it. It seems to be similar to the line between sheep and goats. But if you lack context the comparison goes over your head. You miss the message. He who has ears to hear…
Lament. Again.
Let our laments rise up like incense in the dark. Heaven seems so far away at times. Maybe that is why there is such lament and it continues. It feels like it has a great distance to go. It feels like a long, really, really, really, long run home.
A list of things to consider:
Ida B. Wells
Trayvon Martin
Propaganda – “Cynical”
Beautiful Eulogy – “Symbols and Signs” ft. Propaganda
Derek Minor – “Price of Life”
Georgia Bureau of Investigation Director Vic Reynolds – “There’s no hate crime in Georgia.”
NPR Updates in the Killing of Ahmaud Arbery
The Bail Project – Freedom Should Be Free
Prison Fellowship Restoration and Compassionate Release Letter
Britannica.com – Jewish Palestine At The Time of Jesus
Friday May 8th was his birthday. 26 years old.
And there are so many mothers without their sons and daughters today because of gun violence across this nation.
God, heaven feels far.
Festival of Booths 
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